Dubios In Faecal Scare
Cireola Dubios, 31, the Aussie rock chick with the baldest head this side of Taipei, has been admitted to Heinzville State Hospital. Appalling Trash's undercover reporter at the hospital has learned that the rocker, who's dating Sean van der Spak, was so desperate to expel built-up faecal matter that she overdosed on Metapoocil, the mega-popular laxative. "She's in a critical condition," said the reporter. "The overdose has severely affected Dubios' ability to go poo-poo unaided, so it could be days before she is well enough to leave the hospital." Van der Spak, currently filming Empire of the Ants 2 (see story below), has flown to Heinzville from his Vancouver film set to be at his girlfriend's side.

Star's Battle 
With Overweight Butler
Debby Wong, 24, star of mega-grosser Lusitania, heads to court today to fight her kleptomaniac butler. It seems the sprightly young actress had been so involved in her own life that she failed to realise that her butler, Johnson Tutu-Boobi, 76, was filching Wong's jewellery and then selling it on E-Buy, the popular online auction site. "I can't believe this kind of thing still happens in the U.S. Surely the government exterminates people that do this kind of s**t." Appalling Trash has learned that not only does Tutu-Boobi plan to plead innocent to charges of stealing, he will counter sue to the tune of $143 million for negligence, sexual abuse and nuisance calls.

Latest Box Office Take
Grogan's Revenge $23,302,456 (1 week); Bustarella $21,976,542 (10-year re-release; 1 week); It's a Terrible Life $14,321,768 (3 weeks); How Dare You... 10,321,109 (1 week); State of Confusion 4,879,654 (3 weeks)

Though savaged by critics, Grogan's Revenge came in first at the box office with a healthy take of more than $23 million. Following close behind in second place with almost $22 million was the 1995 hit Bustarella - in re-release - starring Busty Bambini. (The film grossed $1.5 billion worldwide in its initial run.) Horror hit It's a Terrible Life managed a respectable $14 million this week, bringing its 3-week total to $98 million

Video May Hold 
Clues to Star's Disappearance
A recently discovered home movie of Tula Van Winkle, the popular Dutch actress who disappeared under mysterious circumstances at the age of 87 in March 1976, is currently being investigated by Dutch authorities. The videotape, which was found at a flea market in downtown Amsterdam, contains grainy footage of the ageing star cavorting with young men beside her 50-metre pool in Brentwood, California circa December 1975. In one scene, the star leans over and pashes one of the young men under some mistletoe while another licks her toes. Sergeant Ulf Ostreid hopes that the video will help solve the case of the missing - presumably dead - star which has baffled police and crime enthusiasts alike. Speaking exclusively to Appalling Trash, Sergeant Ostreid stated, "It's quite a find. I've seen the video all the way through, and, to be frank, I never would've guessed that Ms Van Winkle had such a healthy sexual appetite. Most of the men in the video are in their 20s, while Ms Van Winkle was about 86 at the time it was shot. Of course we are searching for the men in the video. Nothing has been ruled out. Foul play may have been involved." 

To Pee or Not To Pee
A popular actress - who will remain anonymous for fear of a legal suit - found going to the toilet a real trial while on a Paris promotional tour. During a long press conference to promote her new horror pic, the sexy middle-aged actress lost control of her bladder and wet herself in front of a group of Chinese reporters with bad haircuts. Embarrassed beyond belief, and understandably upset at losing control of her bladder in front of hundreds of bloodthirsty reporters was PR-damage enough, but forking out $10 million to keep her name out of the papers has hurt even more.

Ant Movie 
Sequel Given Green light 
A sequel to 1977's Empire of the Ants, Empire of the Ants 2, starring Sean van der Spak, 22, is currently in production. Though not eagerly anticipated - in fact, in some Hollywood circles the movie has already been panned - production is proceeding full-steam ahead.  "I'm enjoying the experience immensely," said Van der Spak to Appalling Trash, in an exclusive telephone interview. "The film is taking shape. It's just a pity Joan Collins (the star of the original) won't be in it."