McNeil's Past Makes A Comeback
Hollywood B-list star Bitch McNeil, 36, who will soon co-star in Breaking Wind with Dan Druph-McGill, claims she is visited daily by the spirit of her dead husband, Hulbert O'Rollinthahay, who died under mysterious circumstances at the age of 91 in 1992. In an exclusive interview with Appalling Trash's own celebrity reporter, Felicity Catsick, McNeil revealed that she had nightmares for months after her husband's body was found stabbed, gagged and bound behind a KFC in Wichita, Kansas. "It was terrible, absolutely terrible," cried McNeil, overcome in the interview.  "But now I'm okay because Hulbert visits me." O'Rollinthahay's death and the subsequent trial which had suspect McNeil cross-examined on the stand, has baffled police and crime lovers for more than ten years.

Armendez-Julia 
Furious At Sperm Sale
Brazilian director extraordinaire Pico Armendez-Julia, 57, has lashed out at  divorced second wife Demi Moron for secretly selling his highly-prized asparagus-enriched sperm to a Russian laboratory which is developing high-tech spermicidal chemical weaponry. Destitute Moron, 40, who has been divorced from Armendez-Julia since 1992, went ahead with the sale of her ex-husband's 'stuff' so she could buy some new floor tiles for her apartment in West Hollywood and send her daughter, Tiffany, 10, to dog grooming school. "I'm bloody furious," screamed Armendez-Julia to Appalling Trash at the Beverly Hills Wiltshire Hotel. "Selling gossip to the tabloids is one thing, but this really takes the cake. That bitch better find a lawyer, because I'm gonna take her to the cleaners!"

Olestra Fails To 
Win Fans Because Of Gay Ex
Up-and-coming actress Olestra Sangria Landaverde St James, 33, has failed in her bid to win new fans at an awards show in Los Angeles. The sexy Latina, known for her raunchy antics and no-apologies attitude, stepped out of her limousine in a figure-hugging Oscar de la Venta gown, but went ass over tit when her heel got caught in the hem of her dress. To add insult to injury, St James' ex-husband Ricky Martinique, 27, the immensely popular Latin crooner, proceeded ever-so-willingly to steal all of St James' limelight by French-kissing his new beau, fashionista Bob Down, in front of the press. "I'm disappointed, yes, that my gay ex-husband turned up and ruined my big night," said St James to show reporters. "I wanted to make a few new fans tonight, you know, coz I'm an actress and I should be the centre of attention, but that ain't gonna happen now."

Reality Star's Condom Nightmare
Aussie reality TV star Raeleen Smithwick, 49, has been arrested for trying to smuggle a heroin-filled condom through customs at Heathrow Airport. Smithwick, who walked away with $200,000 when she won this year's Australian Idle 2, was so overcome with shame and a nasty case of diarrhoea brought on by the latex that she broke down and turned herself in to authorities.  No clear explanation for Smithwick's actions has surfaced yet, but some celebrity watchers claim that the reality star "had been partying hard....[and] doing 'serious' amounts of drugs post-Idle". "I feel kinda sorry for her," says last year's winner Joanie Stench, whose own career has been given a great boost by reality TV show stardom. "It just goes to show you that condoms should only be used for their intended purpose."