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Celebrity
News Issue
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 02
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Lady
Celia Buttstrangler to Wed? |
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Stuck-up B-grade film
star/wannabe socialite, Lady
Celia Buttstrangler, 34,
will marry the Hon. Dougie Thrushton, 56, next month at
Thrushton's palatial estate Mar-A-Jago, according
to close friends (who don't mind snitching). The
thrice-married Buttstrangler, sometime star of
straight-to-video horror pics, has been dating toilet
seat scion, Thrushton, for the past three months.
One friend claims, 'CeCe and Doug are like two peas in a
pod. They are made for each other!' The
happy couple has been spotted by rabid celebrity
spotters enjoying the races at Ascot, getting wet at the Annual Wet
T-shirt Extravaganza in Hawaii, dining on roasted cockroach
soufflé at Moravia, and going through Liz Taylor's
garbage. |
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Empire
of the Ants Sequel Mooted for Summer 2005 |
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Heinzville
based Pigmy International Film Productions
announced yesterday that a sequel to
mega-grossing Empire of
the Ants will be released in Summer 2005. Joan
Collins, 71, star of the 1977 original, has
refused to reprise her role as the unscrupulous
land developer. Producers are confident
that relative newcomer, Sean
van der Spak, 22, star of several
popular fast food commercials in his native
Canada, will impress as the unscrupulous land
developer who battles killer ants in the
eagerly-anticipated sequel. Van der Spak,
who wowed the producers by posing naked on an
ants' nest, 'was the only choice, the only
choice!' said Pigmy VP of Marketing, Jenny Kee-West.
Several locations have been scouted, and, if
sources are to believed, the producers are going
all-out in the special effects department.
Filming commences in early December. |
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Bogcover
Announces Retirement
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Veteran Hollywood critic and raconteur
extraordinaire, Sir
Lionel Bogcover, 78, surprised many
during a press awards luncheon at the
world-famous Beverly Hills Wiltshire Pub when he
announced his retirement from celeb
journalism. When asked about his future
plans, the iconic critic stated
cryptically: 'After sixty years as a
Hollywood bitch critic, I want to pursue
existential interests, to go inside myself to
get out of myself.' One thing's for sure,
Bogcover won't have to worry about his finances. Gorbes
Magazine estimates Bogcover's net worth is
somewhere in the vicinity of $200 million.
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Home
Issue 02
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